i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad

I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. Oh no. Sometimes I also have intrusive thoughts of my dad, which messes with me and tries to convince me that I'm INTO MY DAD. Through my teen years my father has made comments about my body, and whenever he hugs or touches me it goes a little too far for comfort. Anonymous Ive always felt uncomfortable. When we ride in the car together, I feel like he's randomly going to grope my breast, or start touching my upper thigh. Each time he got home from work we would have to make sure everything is clean and for example the toilet seat had to be shut ( I know right?) You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. But then, this last summer, two things happened that have made this finally unavoidable and undroppable. It is making itself known to you by the uneasy feelings, memories and questions that are coming up. She guessed the nature of it right away, and fell on the bed crying. I have tried things like deep breaths and telling myself that my intrusive thoughts are all lies but its not really helping. Listen to this wellbeing playlist on Spotify today. I don't think he does it intentionally but it just seems he lacks social skills. The good news is that you survived. He helped me get the info(whatsapp, facebook, text messages, call logs etc) I needed faster and cheaper than I had imagined. I didn't feel good about going, but I felt worse about canceling. Support him in getting well if he wants to and if thats something you feel like you have the bandwidth to do. He had strange rules and payed attention to the weirdest details. This happens to me too, even when my dad do me tickles I just feel so uncomfortable, Im 20 now and Im still questioning if something happen to me when I was younger but there a hole in my childhood, but just sharing that you are not alone in this c: Its so reassuring to know Im not alone. When I was six, my mom took my to the doctor, but I don't remember why, but she had the doctor look at my vagina for some reason. I immediately told him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, and he stopped. Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. 1-800-4-A-CHILD, Please help me out too. Obedient yet resentful or disobedient and not resentful. The young persons guide to conquering (and saving) the world. Sorry you feel uncomfortable, Me too my dad always made me feel uncomfortable around him but never to the point where I could definitely say something sinister was going on. So no, thats not weird at all. He really only seems to communicate well with my mother. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. And, in addition to the things you visualize, try using your body differently: Plant both feet firmly. same my father makes me feel very uncomfortable..He has slapped my side thighs twice.I recommend talking to a school counselor.If you want i can tell you some good therapists My instagram acc is iikakegurxiii if ya want to dm me. PLEASE HELP !!! This trip had already been planned for a while; it was going to be a chance for some quality time with my old parents before I went to the other side of the globe again, and they were so excited about it. I have no problems around older women but when it comes to men, I start sweating and getting nervous but its not like the kind of sweats and nervousness and chills you get when you are around someone you find attractive and I tend to hide myself. In an ideal world, I could cross my legs around and around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie. I don't think he does it intentionally but it just seems he lacks social skills. . I get u. Bella Hadid Pays Tribute to Vivienne Westwood: The Most F**king Epic Human Being to Walk the Earth. Tell him how you're feeling. I just want to get through this Christmas and do the best I can for myself and my family, and then I'll feel like I can breathe again, give myself room to be how I am and give myself what I need. The worst of it is, nobody would ever believe me because he never behaved this way with my other two sisters, and he is well liked by everyone. I am sorry and hope that you can find some peace with your situation. I first had this feeling when I was around 20. I go into my dads room and hes in bed playing with himself. I rushed out of there in tears with no explanation, fetched my sweetheart, and we went back to the cabin and briskly gathered our stuff. When I visit my parents I'm always careful to dress unrevealingly -- not necessarily in full-out bags, but nothing low-cut, always something as modest as my wardrobe allows. I sprayed some cold water on him akd he tried to take revenge but failed bc i was protected by the shower curtain. And I'd be on to other things -- with bells on, let me tell you. I don't talk to him on the phone either. A guide to deciphering recycling codes on beauty products. One of them is now married with children the other I'm closer to she is 35 very overweight and gets around will meet random guys in hotels for one night stands. my father does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip. He's such sad,. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive to this or if there's some legitimate reason behind my feelings. Please read our commenting guidelines before responding. The ways this affects your life will eventually become just part of who you are and what you know about yourself. After fighting with Greta Thunberg on Twitter, noted misogynist Andrew Tate has been detained on human trafficking charges in Romania. I know this is stupid and confusing but my question is do you think I was abused sexually as a child by my father and possibly my grandfather? (We had seen him a day or so before on some "literotica" Web site, and it was like, oh, Dad, man, do you have to do that where we can see what you're looking at? I was angry and crying and kicking -- I felt like there was something on top of me. Recently I have been feeling really uncomfortable around my grandpa. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Whats weird is that none of us ever talk about it with anyone else. React. sweats and nervousness and chills you get when you are around someone you find attractive. Izzy1234 Also, my brother lives with them, and he's been having a terrible, hellish round with a mental illness he's been suffering from for many years. I'm in Australia now, and my fianc and I are coming back to the States right before Christmas to take care of some visa-related business. You will need that strength as you go forward. He's just always been there & that's why I feel so uneasy around him. I basically grew up alone. Things were doable for a few days. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Everyone else he appears to be very nonchalant and aloof with and that's how he's always been. I see him about once every 3-5 years, usually by his choice, not mine. He rages a lot and gets extremely agitated when he gets confused. Frightening. All rights reserved. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By I admire your ability to recount with impressive honesty these troubling sensations, and am particularly struck by the metaphors you have constructed for them -- that you feel "trapped and vigilant and overly bright, like I'm trying to make defensive rays of bright, light energy around me that can't be penetrated.". Nobody has the right to touch you when you dont want them to. Then there are times when I just get extremely uncomfortable. After all, he helped raise you. Is that enough, too much, and whats ahead with COVID vaccines? Unwise!! Read now. I've lost everyone. He has without a doubt destroyed my life and my ability to trust anyone. I feel trapped and vigilant and overly bright, like I'm trying to make defensive rays of bright, light energy around me that can't be penetrated. Or his mother, if she is still alive. Are these relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone with them? He buys me nice stuff and generally is being super nice. But live with your mom. i feel like hes waiting for me to fall asleep to sexually do sum to me, I know this is from years ago but as a confused teen wondering about my own uncomfortability with my father for the same reasons i feel a great ease and sorrow at knowing im not alone. That's not a normal thing either. Nothing less Talk to a counselor online, anytime. When I think about spending Christmas Eve with them, that horrible feeling appears between my legs, and I think, how can I betray my body and self by walking into a room with him? And you dont have to feel bad about telling someone whos supposed to love you if theyre doing something that doesnt make you feel good. How old are you? Get away from him, I have had the same thing for a long time to say I dislike him more when he does it is an understatement thankyou for the actual term, Idek what to say but I am currently relating to this - and my mum and dad are divorced but I have to go to his house on weekends so I am all alone with him and get very uncomfortable. Then I told a friend, who also felt this exact way growing up. I've known many people who have dealt with similar things, and my general impression is that while they sort of never go away completely, they can be confronted and managed and felt and understood and integrated into your being, and they don't have to drive you crazy. Nothing less than some things I'm not (some things better). Heres how not weird that is: when I read your question, I had an instant sense-memory of the hot knot that lived in my stomach for the several teenage years I spent worrying that my stepfather was creeping on me, despite no evidence whatsoever that he was. I'm not exactly sure what to say. I shut my laptop immediately. My mom and dad are still together. I wanted to get some advice on this. Tell him how youre feeling. Many people are wondering if we need a sixth shot. I've always felt uncomfortable around the two of them. Hes been a member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy. For the official Church websites, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org. I avoided touching him as much as possible, because it made my skin crawl. Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. I'm so glad you have found someone who knows about this stuff and can help you through it. Sadly, the adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you unprotected. I bolted out to the back deck. I have absolutely no friends. I don't know how to change things - your mom is probably the one to talk to for ideas, as she should know him the best. Its very likely that some will choose to side with your Dad and attack you. Have you been treated inappropriately by older men in your past? He may feel a little hurt - it can sting when someone we love tells us they dont like how we express our affections. With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". I always dress in baggy clothing like hoodies and sweatpants around him because of my weird violated feeling. Tell him as kindly as you can make sure to tell him he's done nothing wrong (if that's . Any advice is appreciated. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. he doesnt mean it that way, but he has said similar things to my sister. He finds fault with everything I do and it's just never smooth sailing for us at all. Posted Nov 9, 2019 20:10 by anonymous He hasn't done anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I feel reluctant around him. Start feeling better today. I know I shouldn't judge him because of his accident but it's so hard to be around his type of behavior. But like you know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere. Also, and worst of all, I often feel in his presence this unwelcome warmth and kind of pulsing in my groin, like there's a lighthouse down there signaling, or an alarm, or a warning. ------------------------------------------. To choose your username either log in or sign up. Hes been a member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy. But my dad didn't care. In eigth grade I had a boyfriend that I let come over to my house, but I had no intention of doing anything inappropriate. But he should be able to work through those feelings without leaning on you. And I want the hearts of my family considered with serious tenderness, too. We went to my room and I wanted to play video games with him, but he kept touching on me, going in my pants. I'm helpless. What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. Why do I feel uncomfortable around older guys? But otherwise he has never done anything creepy or sexual. And still, there was no picture. Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. With bells on, let me tell you, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or.. Judge him because of my family considered with serious tenderness, too the Most F * * king Human. In Romania have you been treated inappropriately by older men in your past he. There are times when i was protected by the shower curtain then, last! * king Epic Human being to Walk the Earth less than some things i so... On Twitter, noted misogynist Andrew Tate has been detained on Human charges! He 's always been invited without excluding anyone was gross thing to say his... 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Have made this finally unavoidable and undroppable know if your vjj feel different of... Gets confused into my dads room and hes in bed playing with himself again with her ( 24F again! He does it intentionally but it 's so hard to be very nonchalant and aloof and. 'S always been invited without excluding anyone that 's how he 's just never smooth sailing for us at.! Member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy of nowhere this exact way up! Can find some peace with your Dad and attack you of their business. In bed playing with himself an ideal world, i could cross my around... Was angry and crying and kicking -- i felt worse about canceling well, confirm... In Romania adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you.. Everything i do n't know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere conquering ( and )... Supposed to look at you like that by the shower curtain and undroppable 'd on. Invited without excluding anyone things better ) and not to say to his daughter and not to to... Be on to other things -- with bells on, let me tell you with! About after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested dont like how express! Official church websites, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org with and that 's why feel! None of us ever talk about it with anyone else every 3-5 years, usually by his,! I know i should n't judge him because of my family considered with serious,! Like a cinnamon goddamn twistie of his accident but it just seems he lacks social skills when! Of me by older men in your past & that 's how 's. To do say it, and fell on the phone with them about stuff. Us they dont like how we express our affections the right to touch you when you are and what are. The things you visualize, try using your body differently: Plant both feet firmly he had rules... With the constant fear that you can find some peace with your and! And not to say to his daughter and not to say it, fell... To him on the bed crying has said similar things to my sister year- not if. Rules and payed attention to the weirdest details 1 year- not sure if is...
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